Hugh's Views

Sentimental Tears

Ouch!

As I've reached the half century mark in my life I've noticed certain things that are, to put it mildly, just plain different. There are, for instant, little aches and pains where there once were none. A soreness in the back, a ringing in the ears, a lightness in the head with a slight headache, tender feet (not to be confused with the ever-popular "tenderfoot" of the TV westerns from the 50's). It's like my body is conspiring against me in subtle, but truly irritating ways. I find I want to get to bed earlier, at 9 or 9:30, and rise at or before sunrise. What's going on? I used to stay up late, sleep in if I could, and feel boundless energy most of the day.

Them Changes

It's not only my physical reactions that have changed. My emotional reactions are on overdrive. True, in the last year I've witnessed the painfully slow death of my close friend (see Hugh's Views #2), had damaging personal gossip change relationships at my workplace, saw my new granddaughter evolve from a baby into a toddler and, at the same time, lived through the unexpectedly tragic death of my father (He sustained fatal burns when his clothing ignited as he was trying to light a cigarette in an outside area of his convalescent hospital.)

Rough Year

Any of these in themselves could be enough to make one pause and ponder the true meaning of life. The only positive thing in this list is the growing love and awe I feel for the child who is two generations removed from me; Sabrina, my daughter's daughter. I still can't get over this strange feeling of being a gramps.

Cry Me a River

I know that "Men aren't supposed to cry," as the popular macho myth perpetuates, but I've found myself getting sentimental during the playing of certain songs, reading moving literature, at passionate speeches decrying injustices done, and find myself in or near to tears. My wife, no stranger to water works, pointed out that it's only natural. The longer we live, the more we have to relate to when we hear or read something that reminds us of our own lives. She's right, but it's more than just that. As we grow, we have more concern for the welfare of our and other's children. We realize that our time on this planet is limited and want the best for those left behind. This is not to diminish the concerns of the younger generations, or to see them as more callous or self-serving than those of us who are graying and wrinkling more than they are.

It's Our Turn

As we baby-boomers age, more and more will be written about the stages we go through as if we're the first to experience these things. We're not, but our voices are growing stronger as we take on the mantle of responsibility before we burn out and move into the next plane of existence, whatever that is.

Hugh Peebles_____________________________________May 1996

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